Comparisons

There are many things in this world that can cause us pain, but the worst of them all are the ones we inflict on ourselves.

It hurts infinitely more to tell yourself that you are unworthy, than to have someone else say it to your face. You can always prove others wrong, it will even give you a sense of satisfaction, but to prove yourself wrong? That is a different ball game altogether. But, thankfully, it is not a game you have to play.

Have you ever looked at a successful person and felt inadequate about yourself? I have many a times, found myself in awe of people, many of whom are younger than me. Thinking about my peers, who have already achieved their dreams, makes me wonder if I will ever be able to do the same.

A doubt starts to grow in my mind and the lingering notion that I will never realize my true potential arises. It keeps me from sleeping at night and makes me feel horribly insecure.

“I could have been that.”

“If only I’d done that five years ago, I might have been at a better place today.”

“Maybe I chose a wrong path.”

“Perhaps this is the best I can do with my abilities.”

“I’ll never be as good as them.”

and the worst of the lot:

“I need to transform myself to be more like them.”

 

Thoughts race through my head, making my own mind a haunted house. I cannot escape, and I cannot move on. I started to feel as though I was walking around with a dark haze over my head.

I stopped doing all the things that were quintessentially me and tried to embrace hobbies and lifestyles of the people I admired. It should have made me happy, it should have propelled me towards fulfilling my goals. But none of that happened.

Instead, I got pretty depressed for a while, stuck in a bubble of self loathing and insecurities about my destiny.

I was at an emotional low, but I agreed to meet a long time friend for lunch. She was very upset about the way her life had turned out. After listening to her, I found that my problems were minuscule compared to her own. Even though she was crying, she was strong because she was not hiding her emotions.

“Don’t give up. Life will get better, I promise. It may not be great right now, but it can definitely be in the future.” I said reassuringly, squeezing her hand.

My friend smiled at me and said surprisingly, “You always inspire me so much. Don’t change, okay?”

“I–I inspire you? I didn’t realize I could do that for anyone.” I blurted out, forgetting about the dark cloud over my head.

“Of course you do. No matter what, you are always yourself. I really like that.” she said with a laugh. “I think being happy in your own skin is wonderful. Even when everything around you sucks, at least when you look into a mirror, you’ll see something awesome.”

I went home that day with a spring in my steps. My friend was right.

I was all I had.

No one could possibly understand me the way I fathom myself. I would have to be my own ally, cheerleader and hero. It was unnecessary to compare my life to others and I didn’t need to mimic the people I admire. Instead, I decided that I will be my own hero, doing things my way.

I will not give up on my dreams, just because I haven’t achieved them at the same time as my peers.

As the saying goes:

Don’t compare yourself with anyone, whether they be better or worse off than you.

However, it is a good idea to do a comparison with your own self. Ask yourself:

Have I improved since last time?

Am I working hard enough to reach my goals?

Do I feel good about myself?

If yes, congratulations! If not, what are we lacking?

Analyze your progress and be truthful to yourself. There is no way your dream will evade you as long as you work towards it. Keep the faith, and keep smiling.

Lets not change who we are, but how we deal with comparisons.

Cheers!

Thanks for reading! Have a great day ahead. 🙂